She's here! Well, she's kind of been here...

Sorry, I have been MIA again lovelies. I promise it was not on purpose this time. You see, the day of or the day after I posted my last post I was admitted to the hospital because my water broke at 32 weeks. I spent two weeks on bed rest in the hospital. I was pumped with antibiotics to keep from getting an infection. I was given steroids to help build my babies lungs and make her stronger. I was given magnesium to stop labor for as long as they could and also to help coat my babies brain. I was in and out of labor, having it stopped often. I had contractions 24/7 for those two weeks straight. Some worse than others. However, I had only dilated 1cm during those two weeks. I had a doctor come in the room whenever I was 34 weeks and check me and claim that I was no longer leaking fluids and that I must have sealed over. Five minutes later, I had another doctor come in and release my while also claiming that he wasn't 100% positive about what the previous doctor had said because in all of his years of doctoring he had only had one person seal over, which was not confirmed because she went into labor a few days later before being rechecked. I was home one day and was still leaking so I called MY doctor. I learned that he did not know that I was released from the hospital until he had gone to visit me about an hour before I called. The nurses said that he was very upset and that he wanted me to get back to the hospital that day so that I could be induced for labor because he was not taking any chances.
(My last picture of being pregnant.)
I was induced that night, which was a Monday night. Tuesday night I was only 2cm dialated and having full blown contractions. My doctor came in and said that we were going to continue the potocin and hopefully a baby would be here by morning. He said he did nto want to add anything to make me dialate because my body was already having untolerable contractions closer together than they wanted them to be. However, the same doctor who released me came in and told me that we would more than likely have a baby before morning. However, as he was walking out the door he asked me to wait until his shift was over to have my baby. While he was in the room he told us that he was going to continue everything that I was already on. However, after he left the room I had a nurse come in and stop my potocin. She stated that the doctor had ordered it to be stopped and said that it was causing the baby stress. Nobody had mentioned this to us prior and the only hing that had been discussed was how my body was having way more than 6 contractions in a 10 minute time frame which was way more than the doctors wanted me to be having. My mother and boyfriend fought with the nurse and my doctor called in after she left our room and she asked him about the other doctors' orders. He told her to restart the potocin and that it was not supposed to be stopped. On Wednesday morning, my doctor came in and went over my options. 1. They could give me the medicine that he did not want to give me because of how my body was reacting to the other to try to make me dilate. 2. They could go ahead and do a c section now. 3. I could try to go the rest of the day and see if I dilated anymore and had the baby and if she was not here by this afternoon we could have a c section at 5pm. 4. (Suggested by the doctor I do not like) I could go back upstairs to high risk and wait a few days, weeks, months until I had the baby or got an infection. I of course did not want to have a C section, but did not want to risk my baby having brain damage or dying (as I was told these were things that could happen if I did not have her soon by one of the doctors). I chose to continue to try to have her throughout the day and if she was not here by 5 that I would go through with the c section. One of the nurses came in around 11am that morning and said that my baby's heart rate had dropped significantly and that they were lowering the potocin for a while and prepping me for a c section because they wanted me to be ready to go if it happened again. Around 3pm I started feeling my sugar drop, as I had gestational diabetes and was not being allowed to eat anything. My mom called the nurse in the room who did not seem concerned about it and said she was not worried about checking it. About 10 minutes later I told everyone I felt very funny, turned white as a ghost, and began feeling faint. They called her back in the room and she checked my sugar which was on the lowest number I was allowed to have, which I believe was a 60. However, she stated that she was still not concerned about it because it was right on the number. She stated that she would call the anesthesiologist as I already had my epidural and see what he said. About another ten minutes later, my babies heart rate started going crazy and I started feeling very weird and began to cry because I was scared for both my baby and myself. The nurse came back in and realized that I did need something to bring my sugar up. They ended up giving me medicine through my iv to bring it up. As they were prepping me when we were in the delivery room a little after 5pm, the baby's heart rate dropped again to the 40's. They stated they had to get her out right then. Stephen was still in the hall waiting for them to finish prepping me. My doctor asked where he was at and one of the nurses stated that he was behind me. A few minutes later, my nurse asked "Where's dad?" and realized that he was still in the hall. Some of the scariest words I had ever heard, which I did not know Stephen had also heard until we were sitting in recovery and both brought it up, were "Oh God, there's no fluid in here" coming from my doctor who had been told ultrasound after ultrasound that I still had a lot of fluid. We both were able to hear and see our precious angel before she was taken off to NICU. She was born at 5:37pm weighing 5lbs. She was 18 and 1/4th inches long.
Meet Willa Gayle!
I was not able to hold her that night as I of course had a C section. She had all kinds of tests done and passed them all with flying colors. They put her in an isolation room and began running daily tests for infection and giving her antibiotics just in case she did have an infection. It was a tough struggle to get her out of the NICU.
She spent 9 days in the NICU. I went home on day 3 and it was hard having to leave my precious baby girl in the hospital. She luckily did not get an infection. However, she did have jaundice. We had problems with her heart rate at one point, which after a bunch of tests was diagnosed and being a result of acid reflux. We also had a problem with her holding her body temperature, as she was taken out from under the heater to only be put back under. She was eating a steady 20ml's for a while and we were told she would be released on a Tuesday. However, on Tuesday morning when we went into the hospital hoping to take her home we were told that she did not eat good the night before. When doctors made their rounds we were told that they wanted her eat 150 a day, which we had no clue what they were talking about. That day and night we got her to eating 30mls at every feeding. However, the next day the doctors came in again and said she still was not eating enough. I was so confused because I did not understand why when she was eating just 20mls at every feeding they planned to send her home and now she was eating 30mls and they were still saying she wasn't eating enough. I cried every morning for a while after the 9am doctors rounds because every day my baby was eating more and everyday they would say she still wasn't eating enough to go home. Her jaundice levels were also increasing. I began to stop getting my hopes up. It was hard to be told every night by the night time nurse that tomorrow would be the day and have to look at them and say we've heard that before and just really don't want to get our hopes up until it really happens.
On Wednesday morning I received a call after going home from meeting with the doctors telling me that she had been moved upstairs to a less high risk room. She ate wonderful that day for me, however whenever I went back that night I got there just in time to meet with the nurse who stated that Willa had ate poorly at her last feeding with the previous nurse and she had orders to put a feeding tube in my baby if she was not eating. I began to cry as I saw the feeding tube lying next to her. I told the lady that I was confused because she had been eating. Stephen and my mom asked a bunch of questions and asked the woman what they really wanted from her. Apparently they had this idea that they could put a feeding tube in her and somehow they could feed her while she slept and at some point and time she was just going to learn to eat and wake up out of the blue knowing how to do it. After I showed signs of not wanting this done to my baby, she told me that she would let me try to feed her and if I could not get her to eat then she would try and if we were both unsuccessful then she would put the feeding tube in her. My baby chugged the bottle and the nurse looked at me and said she doesn't have a problem eating she is just a slower eater and takes some work and energy. I told her that I knew this and didn't understand why they were saying that she didn't eat. She told me she wouldn't put a feeding tube in her unless she had to and that she would work with her throughout the night to make sure she ate her food.
Luckily Willa was not put on the feeding tube and ate wonderfully the next day. On Friday when we showed up we were told that she had ate throughout the night and that the doctor had come and gotten her chart to prepare her for discharge. Of course, on this day the rounds ran later and we were the last set to be seen because we were upstairs. I can remember the hospital social worker coming in and doing a dance and singing "Today is the day, today is the day, today is the day that Willa goes home." I was so excited. My mom, sister, and new niece were sitting at my house waiting to here what the rounds had to say today and I was so excited that I decided to surprise them. The doctors made their rounds about 10:30am that morning and sure enough he stated that he had signed Willa's discharge papers and that they should be making it up here shortly. She was free to go home with her mommy and daddy. Stephen asked the doctor how much she had eaten the day before to get her to the point where she could leave. We were informed that Willa needed to eat 150 and had eaten 199. Our little Willa is truely a fighter. Everytime they would say she needed to do something different in order to come home she would always do it.
We wasn't the only ones excited to get Willa home.
(Her cousin Abi was ready to meet her.)

(And her doggy sister Sadie was ready to meet her.) Willa has been home for four weeks and has been doing wonderfully. She has gained almost two pounds since being home. I took her to the doctor on the 6th for her one month check up and she weighed 6lbs 14oz. She was 19in long. She has been a very good baby and loves to smile.
I have ha a few of my own struggles with breastfeeding and lack of sleep. I have been threw a lot and have had a lot of days where I've at least had to have one good cry.
Breastfeeding has been hard for me because I had to pump all of the time and couldn't let her breastfeed because of having to add 22cal preemie formula to all of my breastmilk before feeding her. Due to her not practicing a lot at latching on she would get very frustrated when I tried to get her to latch on just for a few minutes to build my milk supply and it seemed like skin to skin stopped working as my milk supply has dropped drastically now to where I do very good to get 2 ounce ALL DAY!! Any suggestions on how to boost my milk supply would be greatly appreciated!

However, I must say that I think she is beginning to learn the latching on thing. I had her lying in my lap two nights ago as I was pumping and did not realize that she could even figure out what I was doing. However, she started rooting towards my breasts and the pump so I decided to let her try and she latched on and finally did what she was supposed to for a full 20 minutes. I was one proud mama. They always said she wouldn't really pick up on breastfeeding until around her due date and it was so crazy because that was the day after her due date. I tried a few times yesterday to get her to latch on by did not succeed until last night. She latched on then for a good ten minutes. I am proud that she is finally learning and will continue to work with her. However, I must say that it is very discouraging trying to pump for your baby and give her the nutrients she needs whenever I'm only getting tiny amounts. I didn't want to do this breastfeeding thing before I had her and now I really want to do it and my body is fighting me. It's so discouraging.

I am doing great physically since the surgery. I was pretty sore the first week or so, but now I feel like I am back to normal. I wish I could say that I can wear all of my pre-pregnancy jeans at this time, but I can't. I do have my 6 week check-up scheduled for this Thursday and hope to learn that everything is healed correctly and that I have at least lost most of my pregnancy weight. I do not plan to return to work until the week after the new year so that I can hit the road running. I have had a long break and do not want to have to give up spending the days with my beautiful baby girl, but this mommy has to get back to work to make money and support baby girl's closet :)
(Willa and her daddy)
Well, my baby girl is stirring so I will leave you all with this and if I do not get to post again before the holidays, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone! -Carie