This I ask...

I know this is far from what I usually talk about, but I wanted to talk about something that has really been weighing down on me lately.

To tell you the story of now, I have to tell you the story of the past. The good and the bad.

My sister hs led a hard life. My sister was very sick when she was 15 and the school started giving her problems about missing school. She ended up begging my mom to just let her quite so she could get her GED and go to college. This was 13 years ago now. Her boyfriend was living with us, not in same rooms of course which was definately not allowed as long as my daddy lived in this household, because his family moved at the start of his senior year of highschool. After he graduated my parents signed for my sister to get married, at 16. She was pretty mature and in love. After they got married, my sister started having a lot of problems with her endometreosis. They had to do surgery and reconstruct one of her overies at 17. The doctor told her that she would probably never be able to have kids. He told her to go home and try. Sure enough, he was wrong. My sister was blessed with a beautiful little girl when she turned 18. By the time she was 20 she also had a handsome little man. The night my nephew was born my sisters marriage fell apart when some events( I don't know who might possibly read this blog so I will not tell what actually happened on here) happened that led to police and having to leave the hospital early with doctor's permission while the nurses watched my nephew. My sister wasn't the same for quite some time. She tried to find love, but all the guys she fell in love with she didn trust her kids around and kept them away from them. Not to mention they hurt her and each one got increasingly more harmful that the previous. After having her ribs, wrist, and tailbone broken by a boyfriend she finally just let go of love for a while. Unfortunately her kids resented her for it and today she regrets it. She has turned her life around and found a man that she loves that treats her and the kids well and is happily married. But she is missing one thing. She wants a baby. She knows she done wrong by the first two and wants a second chance. She knows that it wont fix what she did to the first two, but she wants that chance. Her husband and her want a baby together more than anythng in the world and the kids really want a little brother or sister.

However, my sister has been going to her doctor and the doctor gave her the okay to go for it and said that he didn't think she would have a problem getting pregnant. That was back at the beginning of the year. She had a lot of tests done that showed she could get pregnant and the doctor also did something to clean out all the old nasty stuff (sry..tmi but I wasn't sure what it was called or how to explain). The doctor was sure she would get pregnant after doing that. That was back in April. We all think that she just wants a baby so bad that if she just sits back and relaxes it might happen. I was there all summer with her and I know every month she would buy a pregnancy test hoping she was pregnant and I saw the hurt in her eyes everytime the test said no. I know how she still always had hope. She even would stock up on obulation tests hoping that she could hit it right on the spot.

She went to the doctor Wednesday with pains in her stomach. The doctor orered and ultrasound and on Thursday they found a cyst on her right ovary and could not find her left ovary (the one they reconstructed) and the doctor said that her uterus was so thin that he wasn't sure she would be able to carry a baby if she did get pregnant. However, he did say that he could give her medicine to hopefully take care of that and I know that my ex sis and law had to have that medicine when she was pregnant with my niece. My sister also remembered having medicine for that with her first baby. The doctor said that he believed she had been pregnant and lost the baby. He however said that if she didn't start by next month to come back in. And then he mentioned that if she did that he was going to refer her to a fertility doctor. I know she's hurting and I hurt for her. I know how much she wants this.

I hope she relaxes some. We also told her that this was between her and God and that she needed to pray and talk to him about him. If anything is possible, he can make it happen. My mom also told her that she might need to ask him for forgiveness for what she did to the first two. I pray that she gets pregnant. I pray that she gets just one more baby to love and cherish.

Please, please, please pray for her that she gets this baby that her and her husband and her children want so bad.

Thank you all so much for reading this!