You have to bake with love they say,
but love was not around today.
I tried, I really did,
but behind my eyes tear drops hid.
Painful words of which you scolded me,
when all I wanted was for you to hold me.
Can't you see I'm hurting to
And all I want is to be loved by you?
They say you can't bake without love, well I guess it is true. I tried to bake two cakes today and I've never been one to mess up a cake, but one didn't rise and the others frosting wouldnt work. I was baking without love. No, the cakes are not the reason for my tears, but I sure wish they were. The ugliest cakes are often the tastiest. You see, no matter what I've done today it's not been good enough for my mom. The only thing I can think that she is doing is trying to push me away instead of just letting me leave on my own. My mom's never been without me and my parents had me because they didn't want to be alone and I knew the day I left home would be a hard day, but it's not like I'm leaving for good. I will be back in two months to live with them again. But, every corner I turned today, my mom left me fighting back tears. This is hard on me also. She's my best friend and I don't want to leave yet, but I know I have to. I don't want to leave on a bad note. Right now, with the way she has treated me today, I just don't want to come back. I'm hurting just as much as she is. I've fought my tears in front of her, but I just can't fight them anymore. I'm scared because not only is she being mean to me, but she's being mean to my dad. What if she keeps on doing that? Will he be able to stay around these two months that I'm gone? I love my mom, but she's breaking me right now. A part of me just wants to unpack my things and say screw it, but I have to do this for me. I wish I knew what to do! She's never criticized my cake making and she is constantly saying hateful things and giving me the silent treatment. What do I do when I just feel like giving up?
Thursday, May 27, 2010
You can't bake a cake without love
Posted by capperson at 8:41 PM
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7 comments:
You've got a really nice blog. This is my first time at it. Have a great weekend.
It's hard for her to let her baby girl grow up. You're her whole world. Changes this big just aren't easy for parents. I went through it with mine. It'll get better. Especially if she feels like you'll will still need her.
I went away for summers all through college. Some of the best experiences of my life. You can't miss out on 'em. But ask your mom for "help" with stuff so she knows that you'll still be needing her.
So sorry. Mandy's my sister. I didn't know she was signed in!! That comment was mine!
Following you beautiful!
Adore you :)
Cheers, Jesa
I am sorry to hear that. Moving out (even for a short period) is really hard for parents. I hope everything works out well
*Nathalie
that´s so sad to hear. but parents are like that. i hope it get´s better for you though.
xoxo
Hello there~
With all do respect for your mom, she is in alot of ways manipulating you. She probably isn't wanting to do it deliberatly, because she does love you and wants you to say. She just can't help it. However, being mean and not supportive is manipulative. I am sorry for your pain. You are growing up and need to do things for you. Our parents know that when we are grown we will leave. I have this problem today, AND i HAVE BEEN married for almost 11 years and have 3 kids. When I talk about moving away from my parents I hear EVERYTHING bad about where we want to go. Its frustrating. Your mom will get over it, and will soften up. I don't know where you are going, but you should go. Best of luck. Jenn
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