Well I didnt get in....

I knew I wasn't going to get in again, but getting that letter in the mail still really sucks. I feel like I am just wasting my time. I don't even believe that it is what I want to do anymore so why care. I really want a huge change in my life. I want a new town, but I want someone to go with me. I don't want to go alone. The bestie didn't get her letter today, but maybe she will get hers tomorrow. She said she probably isn't going to get in either, but she possibly could. She has a better GPA than me.

Honestly I felt like I have been pushed into this major after my original major's program lost it's accredidation and I believe that although I always wanted to be a Midwife that nursing is really not the thing for me. I have no clue what I want to do, but this just doesn't feel right and after 2 attempts to get into the program at my college I think it's safe to say that it just isn't meant to be.

So now what do I do?

I really want to move to Tampa where my brother lives. I want a change of scenery, preferably with a beach. There I atleast have someone I know and if my friend doesn't get into nursing program she has family that lives there also. But then, we have the dilemma of out of state tuition. I would be okay with taking a break from school, but if I mentioned taking time off from school it would be completele suicide. I honestly am at a loss and have absolutely no idea what to do. I'm beyond stressed and all I've wanted to do the past few days is cry! I'm completely lost!!!

And I really don't want to have this discussion later with my Mom because she is pushing me to go about an hour away to a college and try to get into the nursing program there. Honestly, I don't want to. Odds are I won't get in there either and I will just end up stuck at a stand still there to.

***Side-note: She just called and is already pushing the application for the other college on me!!!!***

Why do I have to be the one that doesn't know what to do with my life? And why is it such a crime to just need a break from school?